Friday, January 25, 2013


Grew tired of being unable to post pictures, other than blurry iPhone shots. So I tried out Wordpress, I don't like that change either, but I guess I'm abandoning this space... I sound so sure don't I?! haha! Say hello if you come find me at

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Moving (soft) muscle

Okay, maybe muscles don't get soft, but I'm definitely softer where I used to have more. It's been a hard stage to fit in taking care of myself by getting the exercise I need.

So reading chapter 5 today made me laugh. I liked her mentioning the squats while blow drying her hair, because I do that too, all the time! I figure it's better than nothing. But I miss the exhilaration of a really good run or spin class.

Well, today I got to ski by myself! A good, hard hour. I almost didn't because my skis really need to be waxed and I knew I would find that annoying. And it was really windy. But I went, and I almost turned around without doing the whole loop, worrying about being out of shape for the distance. I was so thankful that I went and that I kept going, it was amazing (though I'm thinking I'll really be feeling it tomorrow!)

So reading Holley Gerth's words about how we too often don't start things, having excuses of it not being the perfect time, really hit home. I came very close to missing out on an amazing time that gave me improved outlook on life and some confidence I needed, just because of some wind and wax!

So, I'll be paying attention, catching myself when I start making excuses. I don't want to miss out on good things.


Hello 2013. I'm looking forward to your days. Today was already a great day. In spite of a sick husband, kids waking up too early after a late night (not just because I wanted to sleep, but they were tired grouchy and driving me crazy), power going off for 90 minutes (of course at noon when I was trying to cook lunch), heaped up laundry and the dryer not drying...

Today was a great day, not just because we had a quiet-at-home day without having to go anywhere, and Uncle Michael made Kellen the happiest boy ever by coming over to play wii all afternoon, and Neve slept for over 3 hours waking up super happy. Things just happened that encouraged me in a way I haven't felt in awhile. Where you KNOW that things happen for a reason.

I read what sarah had to say - (sheesh, sorry I don't know how to do links with the app!). And I was led on over to the I'd like to say that I pondered what my word for the year would be. That I prayed about it. That I took it seriously. But I think the word came to me without thought in about 2 seconds flat. Move. Um, that's dumb I thought. I did that last year. Not moving again. Ever. I moved on, wiped a nose, started the dishes, read a book to a whiny kid, or something like that.

Later, I came upon the free download for an e-book "The Do What You Can Plan" by Holley Gerth (thanks for the facebook heads up, Chelsey R). And I read the first 3 short chapters with my cup of coffee in hand. Within 15 minutes I was tackling the last of the boxes that have been haunting me for months now and seeing hope for my little space in the corner of the basement. I was on the Move. So I accepted my word.

Tonight I looked up my word. I was impressed. To change in position from one point to another. To go forward. To progress towards a particular state or condition. To initiate an action. To stir the emotions. To change the course of. To get going. Making progress.

I don't know what this year will look like exactly. Well, I don't really know at all. I know I've been feeling like I need more. Even with eucharisteo and the peace that brings me. I feel stuck and frustrated too often. Which usually leads me to some type of informal goal setting, but then I fail the next day, and the voice telling myself its okay, I'll do better tomorrow is not as strong as the voice telling me its hopeless and it's all to much anyhow.

So I feel stuck (oh, I am thankful for grace to be okay there) but...I think it's good to still want to move forward. Feeling stuck and overwhelmed limits me in too many ways and in all areas of my life. So, I really look forward to be blessed by the Do What You Can Plan. Hoping to see some linear moving, not just the crazy cycle that I tell myself I ride.

I don't have any fancy graphic for my word (though I enjoyed seeing those who did). I don't have the best words to explain what I'm thinking and what I feel is being handed to me. I don't have a fancy camera or the talent to share beautiful inspiring images. And I'm not really all that cool, haha. I dont feel that my word is that great, if i compare it to the others i read. I'm definitely feeling inadequate to share what might seem so inconsequential, cause there are some truly amazing voices out there. So often in the past, after pouring out some heart thoughts, I would decide they were just for me, and delete the whole thing. All those excuses of inadequacy contribute to the stuck feeling. And in thinking about moving, I know that it doesn't matter where I am, if I'm behind or if I'm off track. It's about initiating, progressing, stirring. Right? It might be big for me or at the very least I'm going to hold tight to my word the next few days and get that room cleaned up and boxes dealt with!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Smiling softly

Sometimes I beat myself up
For struggling with the same old
Moving on and growing feeling impossible
So when there are moments
Glimmers of new hope
Eucharisteo feeling stronger
A peaceful heart beating stronger
Accepting what is
And what is not
I pray for us all to grow
To understanding, love, and thankfulness

Monday, December 17, 2012

Twas the Week Before Christmas

Seems everyone's been asking me if I'm ready for Christmas
I've been trying not to think about it
Because gifts are just now finally being purchased
I'm out of time to make the gifts I'd planned
Lanelle's been begging me to make cookies to decorate
And now the oven is broken
I'm not sure when we'll manage to get a new one
I'd chosen pictures to get printed and hoped to send cards
But that crazy day in the city was full of setbacks and I didn't get the pictures done.
Nellie took this fun picture while we were loading into the car
 Although I had my moments during the day in the city
I mostly just sat back and felt happy that my kids were with me
I'll keep it all in perspective (or at least try to)
Things will go undone
But we will have fun
And I will take every opportunity to go skiing
 He is getting better everytime we go
We met a lovely couple who were excited to see Kellen go whizzing by
(He sure did speed up to try show off)
They said they bought skis for their 5 year old grandkid
And hoped he will enjoy the skiing with them
We talked about changing expectations
Taking the time for hot chocolate breaks and feeding birds and playing
As we teach them to love it all
So I think tonight about expecations for Christmas and holidays
Letting things go sure makes me start feeling excited for these approaching days
And the moments and fun there will be
It is my opportunity to show them how to love and celebrate this season.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Travelled Roads

We are getting used to traveling these roads
Not thinking quite so much about how much snow and ice they have
Finding these pictures they took in the backseat
I reflect on what memories they will have on these well travelled roads
It's good to take the time
To remember to be purposeful about what happens while we travel these roads
Which can become so second nature that we zone out and go on autopilot
And when I think of the overwhelming conversation with coworkers yesterday
I think about how I can go on autopilot with the daily routine of work tasks
But much has been seen and learned during all those days (and, *gulp*, years)
And it was good to reflect on memories of those travelled roads.

Monday, December 10, 2012


These are the pictures I tried to post the other night. First time getting them out on their new skis. Kellen did amazing! Lanelle fell a whole lot less than he did at her slow and steady pace. It was fun to ski with kellen at a pretty decent pace, I learned to stay a ways behind him because he sure was falling a lot as he pushed himself. He sure had fun and really didn't want to turn back, making my heart happy.

So beautiful to have a family adventure. Other than the 1 year old whose hands got too cold since she refuses to leave mitts on. But I guess all is well that ends well. She finally fell asleep and quit wailing the last 5 minutes. I was able to calm down and enjoy the last few minutes, so it's all good :) This helping them learn to love skiing sure requires a lot of patience.

Funny these are iPhone photos, but I can't add them from the computer. Which would be fine, but I really don't like that I don't have control from the blogger app on my phone where the pictures are inserted and I can't choose the order they I still would love some advice on solutions...?