Definites

This week, I found myself appreciating some definites in my life.  I also noticed some things that are changing, raising my awareness of some new questions and pondering.  My favorite definite - we have a real, for sure, exciting possession date.  We know we can start moving May 26th.  We know we have renters for June 15th and we know we like them and it will be a good arrangement.  I am being filled with motivation to pack boxes:)

And, I am thankful I mentioned that need for boxes at knitting club this morning, because I was lent a great big stack of needed boxes.  While listening to the chatter of the wonderful group of ladies this morning, I was thinking, this is definitely one of my favorite times of the week.  I relax, knit, and get away from the 3 little wonders demanding my attention!  There are 3 of us with plans to meet with an experienced carder to learn this first step to spinning our own yarn! This morning I also appreciated the wisdom of lives lived beautifully, even through challenges.  I heard about breast cancer and saying goodbye to kids leaving home.  I was reminded of how much is going on around me in others lives.  I was encouraged to be wholly grateful for this blessed and beautiful and messy life.  So much grace, I saw in others this morning.

A coworker stepped into my office one afternoon, laughing about needing to get away from the "youth" conversations in her shared office.  And, for a fleeting moment, I was bitterly aware that I am no where near the new young one in the office anymore and I had to ask myself, "am I middle-aged?"  Well, I'm not sure what middle-aged is considered.  But this moment, led me to being way more aware of my age for the rest of the week.  Oh my, I am soon not going to be the young mom with babies!  Before I know it, I will be the mom of school aged kids.  These little "age" thoughts that kept popping up this week made me realize this journey has been steadily moving along.

These little people just keep on growing and learning new things.  This morning Kellen helped make breakfast, I did the pancakes and he made smoothies all by himself, and he was so proud.

 

Oh, Nevey, still a babe, but the language changes are happening so quickly and the demand to be independent is loudly insisted. 

I am definitely thankful for the gift of growth I see and feel as I think about these rapidly moving years.  I believe God has opened my eyes to see the crazy, amazing blessings in my life and is shaping and changing me.  Such an amazing gift this journey of life is, definitely.  Don't you think?

Rest & Relaxation

We've enjoyed so many beautiful days this last while.  It's not helping us to quit procrastinating and get packing.  I'm always happy to get the sprinkler out and enjoy the squeals and laughter.  Lanelle is the real little water bug who usually initiates this activity and is always so excited to wear her "swimmings".  I love her words.  Like how she called my bag of raw alpaca wool that Ian picked up for me.  "Mom, we got a surprise for you!!  Some KNITTINGS!"

It's been good to take time to rest, by biking over to the beach the last few evenings and watching the sun dip low.  Everyone is so relaxed, to be out of the house, and enjoying the beauty around us.  It's so easy to feel guilty about that when there is so much to do and so much to get accomplished, but in looking at how good it was for relationships and our outlook on life, I think we should change perspective.  What if we felt guilty for always trying to get stuff done and NOT taking the time for restful activities and refueling times?  Even though I was finding myself having to do dishes and housework after the kids were in bed, I didn't feel the usual drudgery of dish duty.  I'm going to need to remind myself this next little while how rest improves life and keep things balanced.

Between the lines.

haha!  I noticed I had a drafted blog that I'd never published.  Perhaps I was so tired I thought I should reread later before deciding to publish or not.  It does make me think about the battles I engage in - trying to see the sunny thankful side of life even when there's some real struggles to complain about.  Not sure if I managed to keep my thumbs up that groggy December day...It must have been okay though, I can't recall this particular day.

What a relaxing day we are having here.  (Read: Confession, the kids have been watching too much backyardigans.)  It was so beautiful to sit under my wool blanket on the couch with a cup of coffee early this morning. (Read: the baby got up way too early and I had to struggle to open my eyes while she played around on the floor)  I decided we would not be hard on ourselves today.  (Read:  I haven't been getting enough sleep and have reached a point of complete exhaustion.  She was up repeatedly for long periods of time.)  We will let the day unfold as it will, and not give thought to any to-do list or goals.  (Read:  I will attempt to keep guilt out, although likely there will be some, in which I accuse myself of being lazy)  We will count blessings today, no matter how small they are and we will smile. (Read:  The only plan I have for the day, is to not get discouraged, because, remember, I am severely sleep deprived.)  I will remember Johnny Breggers Two Thumbs Up that I listened to with Neve so early this morning. 

I know its early
But I'm awake
I've got to get up and
start my day.
I hear birds singing
and now I'm singing too.
Oh, what'll I do?
I've got two thumbs up today
and that's exactly how
I want it to stay.

Yep, just keeping my thumbs up today.  And that's okay.

Keeping Perspective (an attempt...)

These days are busy and frustrating when there is so much to be done, but the doing is so difficult.  It is beginning to feel like I have a million things on the go. For instance, I find the dryer door open with half the laundry folded.  Oh, yeah, I was doing that then the phone rang and I turned around from that and noticed the half packed up winter stuff so I worked on that for a few minutes but then noticed the time.  I started working on those lunch dishes, because I started thinking about getting some supper started.  And what happened to supper? Well, I got called to the bathroom for help, with, er, the wiping.  Then I had to check on what Neve was up to downstairs, where I found that open dryer door and found myself almost in tears, because this getting done anything is so impossible.  Aggghh!

Thankfully there's the other moments too, when I am reminded to just enjoy the moments. (And thankfully times when things are getting done, a box at a time :) As I walked up the stairs and saw the dirt everywhere, something made me smile and think about the fun the kids had on this beautiful day, going in and out, setting up the sprinkler, tracking in grass, dropping wet suits and towels.  Oh, well, I will smile this moment and not care about the mess.  Life is still going on, its not on hold for this transition.

And, while the thoughts of moving are a little totally overwhelming.  I am being reminded at moments to keep dreaming about the plans and the fun we will have.  I've still snuck in a few chapters on my latest reads:

This is really all quite fun, right?  So many fun plans.  Yes, yes, I know its a lot of work but definately insanely rewarding and exciting.  We'll fit in new projects and bring in new animals as we can, when its right.  And I will keep working on perspective, balance, and thankfulness.

Sibling Love

I know I've got great kids, but they are no angels.  Lots of sibling fights around here, but I am also constantly amazed at the amount of sibling love too.  This little Neve, is so in love with her big brother and sister.  Such great big hugs she gives them.  They run out of patience with her sometimes when she is determined to get into one of their projects, but they are pretty willing to help her get what she wants too.

This morning, Neve was refusing to eat and putting up a big fuss about even being in her chair, so she ended up on my lap, but demanded to get on the table intent on her sister's bowl.  No matter, that it was the same oatmeal, she ate heartily while her Nells fed her.  So sweet watching them share breakfast.  I know they'll have they fights as they get older, but I hope they keep their strong sibling love.

 And this boy may like to pretend he's tough, playing guns and fights and such.  But he really is a sweetie, especially when it comes to his sisters.  Nellie pushes him pretty hard though, and just recently he has started hitting her back and setting some boundaries with her when she gets so firery and so, "Nellie-like", which is probably mostly a good thing.  I know he'll always be there when she needs him.

I know I shouldn't even try to choose favorite things of this whole parenting journey, there really are too many wonders.  But definately some of my most treasured moments are watching these 3 love each other.

Snow

Yesterday, we picked up Snow (this is not him, I forgot to take a picture).  He's a Great Pyrenees, although Snow seems to not have so much of the Great (size wise that is).  He's smaller than we expected, but as long as he does his job on the acreage that's okay.  Although he is already a year old, apparently the pyrenees will keep growing until they are 2, so we'll see.  We found him a home for 5 weeks till we get to take him home!  He is amazing with the kids, which is one of the reasons I wanted a pyrenees.  Kellen was loving playing fetch with him yesterday.  Hopefully he'll prove his other purpose by keeping coyotes and foxes out of the yard and away from our future chicken and sheep.

Anyhow, I just stopped by here I guess so that I would remember the day.  The excitement and apprehension I felt the night before, I laughed and told Ian it felt like we were going to pick up a baby.  I've never owned a dog, or really cared to.  But, I picked the pyrenees, I found Snow, and choose him, and I love him.  And, I think having him has really reminded me we are not just telling a story when we say we are moving to an acreage.  This dream really is happening.  And so, I must go and pack a few more boxes while Neve naps and the others have gone to visit Snow.  Welcome to the family, Snow!

happy Easter

hello, Easter weekend.  And, goodbye.  We greeted you with enthusiasm and headed off to the cabin.

 Even though it was raining.  Okay, in all honesty, I had zero enthusiasm.  Because packing is just so much work.  Although there weren't that many clean clothes to pack, which made me feel like I shouldn't be going. Laundry, house packing for a major move, and the worry of what are we going to do with the house.  Are we renting? selling?  do we have time to do those jobs the house needs?  will we have time to paint at the new place before we move in?  Will we even be able to make the life we want on the acreage? I didn't even know until my mind had time to think, on the rainy drive away from town and towards the north, that worry had invaded me.

 While I sat (and knew I was in a bad place, because I didn't even want to pick up my knitting *gasp*) I remembered sharing, just a short while ago with some lovely ladies, that I had learned a lesson about trust and faith the last time we moved houses and the buying and selling wasn't exactly a easy time.  And, at the end of my story, I said, but I suppose its easy to say I learned to trust God when I am know sitting in a comfortable, easy place.  Maybe I would find I didn't learn the lesson if we were in a difficult situation again.  I wouldn't say we are even in a difficult situation, and I am already forgetting and worrying.

 So I thought and prayed and though the worry in me wasn't instantly gone, it lessened.  I knit.  I dreamed again about why we are moving.  And, I think by the time we arrived, I was ready to be there, as were the kiddos.

 We hiked a little, but that rainy cold didn't make us want to stay away from the warm fire in the cabin for very long.

 The next morning, our walk wasn't any nicer. 

 Although it was kind funny to see the most snow I've seen all winter on this cabin weekend.

 Some of us didn't care there was a blizzard.  It sure made me feel cozy.