Smiling softly

Sometimes I beat myself up
For struggling with the same old
Moving on and growing feeling impossible
So when there are moments
Glimmers of new hope
Eucharisteo feeling stronger
A peaceful heart beating stronger
Accepting what is
And what is not
I pray for us all to grow
To understanding, love, and thankfulness

Twas the Week Before Christmas

Seems everyone's been asking me if I'm ready for Christmas

I've been trying not to think about it

Because gifts are just now finally being purchased

I'm out of time to make the gifts I'd planned

Lanelle's been begging me to make cookies to decorate

And now the oven is broken

I'm not sure when we'll manage to get a new one

I'd chosen pictures to get printed and hoped to send cards

But that crazy day in the city was full of setbacks and I didn't get the pictures done.

Nellie took this fun picture while we were loading into the car

 Although I had my moments during the day in the city

I mostly just sat back and felt happy that my kids were with me

I'll keep it all in perspective (or at least try to)

Things will go undone

But we will have fun

And I will take every opportunity to go skiing

 He is getting better everytime we go

We met a lovely couple who were excited to see Kellen go whizzing by

(He sure did speed up to try show off)

They said they bought skis for their 5 year old grandkid

And hoped he will enjoy the skiing with them

We talked about changing expectations

Taking the time for hot chocolate breaks and feeding birds and playing

As we teach them to love it all

So I think tonight about expecations for Christmas and holidays

Letting things go sure makes me start feeling excited for these approaching days

And the moments and fun there will be

It is my opportunity to show them how to love and celebrate this season.

Travelled Roads

We are getting used to traveling these roads
Not thinking quite so much about how much snow and ice they have
Finding these pictures they took in the backseat
I reflect on what memories they will have on these well travelled roads
It's good to take the time
To remember to be purposeful about what happens while we travel these roads
Which can become so second nature that we zone out and go on autopilot
And when I think of the overwhelming conversation with coworkers yesterday
I think about how I can go on autopilot with the daily routine of work tasks
But much has been seen and learned during all those days (and, *gulp*, years)
And it was good to reflect on memories of those travelled roads.

Skiing!

These are the pictures I tried to post the other night. First time getting them out on their new skis. Kellen did amazing! Lanelle fell a whole lot less than he did at her slow and steady pace. It was fun to ski with kellen at a pretty decent pace, I learned to stay a ways behind him because he sure was falling a lot as he pushed himself. He sure had fun and really didn't want to turn back, making my heart happy.

So beautiful to have a family adventure. Other than the 1 year old whose hands got too cold since she refuses to leave mitts on. But I guess all is well that ends well. She finally fell asleep and quit wailing the last 5 minutes. I was able to calm down and enjoy the last few minutes, so it's all good :) This helping them learn to love skiing sure requires a lot of patience.

Funny these are iPhone photos, but I can't add them from the computer. Which would be fine, but I really don't like that I don't have control from the blogger app on my phone where the pictures are inserted and I can't choose the order they appear...so I still would love some advice on solutions...?

Kellen's book

Fun to see what they come up with lately. Projects initiated all on their own. Kellen wanted to make a book for his teacher. Took me all weekend to find the stapler, which I was asked about regularly. I like his creative license on the theme of seasons ;)

Testing

I am testing out trying to post with my phone, maybe these iPhone photos can post? I just caught Lanelle testing her copying skills. I am proud because she usually fusses at me to draw things for her (Ian likes to assume he knows where these perfectionist tendencies come from). She has really been expanding herself lately. :)

Well, goodbye?

So after a busy month, and missing stopping by here, I sat down to do a quick blog late last night and found out I have reached my 1GB limit and can't put up any more pictures unless I start paying. Seriously, pay to blog?! I'm thinking there's a solution, but I'm not sure what it is or that I should take the time to try figure it out. Any advice? Anybody even checking in anymore? I'd be kind of sad to quit documenting to simple joys of this life, but maybe it's just time...

Stay home day

The decision was made early this morning, though Nell's fever had broken in the night, she still needed a stay at home recovery day. Ian had stayed home and cuddled her yesterday, so it was my turn to stay home. Kellen pressured me that his cold needed a rest day to finally get better. So here we are, all together at home, after several texts and calls to make the necessary changes. I started making plans to sit on the couch and read books to the kids for most of the morning. The kids had other ideas and by 10:30 with my coffee rewarmed for the 10th time, I was beginning to think these hooligans are not so sick after all.

Only 1 book was read to neve, but play-doh extravaganza has occurred and been cleaned up, the mega blocks pay loader has finally been built, nerf gun wars loudly taken place...

Though I feel a little guilty as they have sprung to life on this stay at home sick day, I am thankful for the fun. And for the freshly gathered poached egg in my homemade tomato soup. And the worn out girls both napping now while kellen quietly plays with his army guys. And for finally having a coffee while browsing my newest cookbook. This is turning into a wonderful stay at home day that we were much in need of.

Counting

Forgetting to count blessings
I grumble with frustrations
Remembering to see with eyes wide open
I know it's all love gifted.

The cat sprawled sleeping
Karate lessons begun
Kids xcountry skiis purchased
Finding their own craft together
Peaceful sleep and dreams
More eggs gathered everyday
Tears for the broken egg dried when he cooks it
A season changing, snow coming
So small this list of recent moments remembered
I vow to count more, to snap and capture more
I don't want to miss the gifts

Sitting now in front of the fire
The mess I fought against won again
Toys, dishes, a stray jacket, a book, practice word flash cards,
I chose to see differently
A mess or the evidence of a blessed life?
A house full of crazy fun kids
A weekend lived.

A bedtime story by Lanelle

Once upon a time there were, um, 3 girls and 5 boys

this first sentence Lanelle started her bedtime story with, and I knew it would be about our family (the 2 extra boys are the dog and cat :)

and the big boy was the biggest.  And Heavy was the littlest, but not too little.  And Nevey was pretty little too, but not too little.  The 2 little girls were the best at everything.  They painted the best pictures.  They colored the best pictures. Their pictures were beautiful.  They were the best readers.  They were even the best at shooting guns.  The only thing the boys were the best at was crying.

Told so smoothly and sweetly.  What was I to say when asked, "Wasn't that the best story mom?"...

Us this season

Knowing where to begin after such a hiatus feels a little overwhelming.  These crazy days of our lives just speed by.  Today has been progress and checking things off lists and feels like were moving mountains.  Starting with some family pictures.  Perhaps of the 150 we have now, I'll be able to get Christmas cards ready, if I don't get overwhelmed in the choosing.

 In the past two weeks, we've had some rainy days and depressing days.  I've been reminded that there are changing seasons around us, visible and some not so visible, but felt.

 We've had a trip to my family's farm for Thanksgiving and loved watching the growing cousins enjoy each other and got to meet the newest addition, little Calder.  There was a lot of carrot digging and a thrilling drive in the back of Grandpa's truck to the empty house with the empty fridge (which I still call Auntie Maxine's, even though times have changed and I'll soon be having to say Tim & Sarina's)

 There was skyping with the 2 little cousins too far away in Edmonton.  And just like that quick little skype visit, the whole time there was over in a flash.

 There's been a slow paced walk or 2, where we remember to breathe.

 Particularly me, as I had to take some very deep breaths on this walk and in general lately, as I continue to deal with such stubbornness from this one with her ideas.  Such as wearing only tights while out for a walk.  Oh, the complaining as they kept falling down, though she had promised after my repeated warnings of that imminent problem and the cold that she would not utter any complaints.

 The season of a couple of barn cats was very short.  After seeing the dog and cats would not live safely in the yard together...

 We now have a kitten living in our house (in which I remind myself to never say never.)

 We've all quite fallen in love with Heavy (as Kellen named him and we may take the suggestion of spelling it Hevi).

 At night this is where he can usually be found, and although we all love him very much, he may have a special bond with this boy, who knows how to be more gentle than his little sisters.

 There's been more of the usual goodness that continues through all seasons.  That being the growing, playing, learning, and goofiness...

 Not to be forgotten moments, like nerf gun wars with Auntie...

 And the exciting new farm happenings - the first eggs are appearing!

 My happiness that this little girl likes to snack on dehydrated tomatoes.

 And is communicating more every day.  So brave to say new words and making more effort to be understood.  "Me, me? Cheese?" she asks after I took her picture, as she pats her chest.  "See?" as she comes around to look.

 "Again?" she backs up for another shot.  "Cheese!"

 It is so good to just remember that these little moments are real and lovely, and not lost in busyness.  Through these seasons we are all growing and changing and loving, yes, we are...