Sunday, February 26, 2006
Here's Kellen with what I call his bulldog face. I would like to post the picture Ian got of him smiling yesterday, but I'm too tired to get it off the camera. It hasn't been as easy to get stuff done since Mom has been gone. Kellen has also gotten out of his perfect schedule. He doesn't always sleep for 3 hours straight after I feed him and he often takes an hour to settle and go to sleep now. I guess this is a little more realistic. I'm feeling more overwhelmed thinking that it will be impossible to get anything done around here. This morning it was 11 before I was able to have breakfast. He just wouldn't go back to sleep. When Ian got back from church today, I ran out to do a few errands while Kellen was sleeping. It seemed so strange to be outside and to be without him. Tomorrow Kellen will be a week old, well actually, just a couple of hours from now he will be exactly a week old. Every bit of me has been completely focused on him this last week. I was thinking today how my identity has totally changed. I have always identified myself by what I do. Whether it was being a volleyball player, an athlete, a student, or by my job. I've never thought about how I would see myself as a mother. It is very sobering, to think of how much I will impact his life. I think I better go to bed now and pray that God will help me to be the mother that he needs.