It was far from a perfect day. Not a terrible day though. Lots of good things happened. A large pumpkin delivered to our door. A phone call with a neighbour and plans for coffee. Play with friends after school. A new laptop played with :) Wireless set up. So fun. But, I was feeling pretty grumpy about a few thing. The house turns into a disaster so quickly unless I am giving it seemingly constant attention. Fussy kids drive me nuts. A sleep-fighter babes. It is what it is, I try to tell myself.
You know why it really bothers me though? When I was sitting on the couch after supper with a cup of coffee with the sounds of the big kids laughing together and the babes crawling around on the floor, I felt a heaviness thinking about what they will remember. Will Lanelle remember when I yelled at her? (seriously though, she fussed and whinned at me for 30 minutes - straight. I said I would not listen to her until she stopped and she never did until she went to her bedroom crying - after I yelled). Will Kellen remember those conversations he has surely overheard between Ian and I when I whine about the kids driving me nuts?
And suddenly I was given this song that I haven't heard in ages, but it made my heart smile. And it reminded me of Ann Voskamp's eucharisteo. So I searched for a video of Peter Mayer singing "Bountiful" without luck. I'd love for you to hear it. But, here are his words. And I should tell you that when I heard him sing it at the little coffee house someplace in South Dakota, he told us he wrote it for his mom.
You don’t just say grace
Before you dig in
You stand and dance and sway
Around the kitchen
And feast your eyes, astounded by
What you’ve been given
Before you even
Sit down
In Bountiful
And when you allemande
With the pans and the cupboards
You lapse into a trance
And dance like a lover
Till dinner time has slipped your mind
And you can’t recover
Like a drunkard
Stumbling around
In Bountiful
And when you fold your hands
You laugh
Because the words escape you
So when you pray
You shut your mouth
In Bountiful
Tonight while reading over at Emerging Mummy I found exactly what I was feeling! I love it when someone with words happens to explain just what I am thinking and feeling. I want my tinies time to be beautiful. To be memorable. To be something that brings smiles and warmth when their adult selves remember these times. And I hope they remember Bountiful.
I wish the song described me. There are moments I know it. Will they remember how I smiled when I popped open a jar of our borscht? Will they remember marveling over the seeds that grow? Will I have taught them Bountiful?
I have found eucharisteo tonight. I will remember bountiful in the morning. When I dish the steel cut oats from the crockpot into our bowls. When I sit with them and talk about our wishes for the day. When we sit and read. When we go outside. When the house is messy. When there is laundry to be folded. Even when they fuss at me. I will practice eucharisteo. I will dance. And, I hope they remember.
3 comments:
Janet-
Your childrem will remember a mother with an irrepressible sense of fun - one who laughed when things were all twisted up, and somebody else might have scolded!
They will remember special times and events - but not necessarily the times like Christmas when everybody else is celebrating. They will remember the Grand Opening of the tree house, the glories of a family garden,the shared love of siblings and families.
They will remember a mother who lived contentedly with herself, and never pretended to be anything else.
They will not have the burden of remembering a mother who pretended that nothing ever went wrong. They will have a realistic standard by which they may judge life.
They will remember being read to, biking, skiing, walking, enjoying adventurous food, and laughing at life - and themselves!
Love, mary
Ah, Janet. I have tears in my eyes reading this. Yes, your babies will remember bountiful as they grow into young people and then parent's themselves... and luckily, there are some of us along the way who will also remind and reframe and retell your children all the moments of bountiful we have wittnessed in your beautiful family. You and Ian are writing quite a story!
Oh, and this would make a good article, too :)
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