Several weeks ago, I said hi to a wise lady. We said, it's been a long time. How are things, she asked. I said, good, you know, this and that going on. Wish I had more time. She has many children who are becoming adults (thus she is wise). She stopped and looked me in the eye - you do have enough time. Yeah, but, I work full time and spend my evenings with my kids and then there is no time for me and other things. But, (maintaining the intense eye contact) you do have enough time to get done what you need to for that day, she said. Okay, I said, and went away thinking and wanting to believe. I've thought about it lots.
Today, I was thinking about someone who always needs something and more money. Then they will be happy and content. Oh, I thought, they'll never get to contentedness because there is always something else and always someone who has more. That seems pretty obvious to me.
Then, I thought, could money and time be the same here? Would I really be content if I had more time? What if I learned to be happy with the time I had and what I did with my time? For a moment, I felt myself really content. I'm sure there is much truth in that thought. I truly can choose to be happy and quit judging myself or my day mostly on what I did or did not do. I could accept my life situation and enjoy life more, if i never felt the need to say - I wish I had more time.
But, when I got home after 8pm from work tonight and saw the dishes and the mess, I forgot about my ah-ha moment. I didn't have enough time with my kids and I don't have enough time to even get myself ready for another day. I'd like to be time wise. I'm feeling for it and hoping to get the the mysterious place I'm believing in.